A Day in the Life of the City of Troy

So, I get home today from subbing (nice day.....lots of reading little kids' books), and I fire up the internet. One of the first things I check is Capital News 9, which is one of the better news sites, actually. What are the first four stories, as of 3:25 pm?

• Man Sentenced in Beating Death of Girlfriend : Guy gets 25 years to life for killing his girlfriend with a hammer. Now, for anyone that saw Oldboy can realize how brutal that move is. The sentenced, 37-year old Thomas Chancey, Jr. of Troy, claimed self-defense. I think the best part of the story is Chancey's brother, who had this gem of a comment,

  "It doesn't make [any] sense why people can't just walk away. When me and my wife argue, I leave the house."

• McMillian Turns Down Plea Deal : A Troy man led police on a high speed chase before deliberately slamming his car into a police car. Apparently the cops tried to pull McMillian over for a parole violation. Apparently, his girlfriend's 11-year-old daughter and 10-year-old cousin were in the car for the chase, but let them out before slamming into the police car......which he injured a cop.

• Troy High Closes After a Mercury Spill : You know, mercury....that little substance inside thermometers and fish that causes developmental problems? Yeah, that mercury. Apparently, a barometer inside the school broke several years ago in a closet, but the closet was only opened today because of school construction. So, wait....this has been broken for years......but its OK, because we shut the door?

• Cars Vandalized in Troy : Overnight a bunch of cars in the Sycaway area of the city had thier windows smashed. That's always nice to wake up to.
  

Yes, that was one day.....the four lead stories were some sort of nonsensical garbage about Troy. Couldnt we have thrown an arson/rape in there? I know its coincidental that those are the stories I saw, just thought it was humorous. So, all of that, coupled with the insanely high school/property taxes....where do I sign up?